Vollyball Is My Game, Jesus Is My Life

by Asher Zetler

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  • Digital Album

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about

The debut album from Asher Zetler features an eclectic mix of genres infused with wacky, abstract lyrics and copious amounts of talented guest stars!

credits

released 22 June 2012
Asher Zetler: Vocals/Percussion/Ukelele
Jeremy Matthews: Guitar/Bass/Keyboard/Etc.
All Lyrics by Asher Zetler &
All Music Written by Jeremy Matthews
Except For Tracks 6, 7, 10 & 11

Sam Bakos: Drums on Track 2
Aaron Lanz: Percussion on Track 4
Jessi Bean Simmons: Vocals on Track 4
“Big” Ken Lee: Vocals/Lyrics on Track 6
Kamil Wasty: Guitar/Bass/Saxophone/Music Credit on Track 7
Edward Hatashita-Lee: Vocals/Lyrics on Track 10
Saul Zetler: Guitar/Music Credit on Track 11
Ori Nevares: Bass/Music Credit on Track 11

Produced By
Jeremy Matthews
Except For Track 8 produced by Jeremy Matthews and Asher Zetler
& Track 11 produced by Ori Nevares and Saul Zetler

Design & Photography by Jeremy Matthews

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Track Name: Wednesday Is Real
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Friday is mildly real
But, and more
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Saturday is fake, like the cake
But, Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
The other days of the week, they're all real
But, Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Wednesday is real, and so is Thursday
Track Name: I Wanna Make A Pizza
I wanna make a pizza, I wanna make a pizza, yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna make a pizza, I wanna make a pizza, yeah, yeah, yeah

Why don't we all take a piece of this pizza?
It will be delicious, I promise
If we did it, we could live in harmony

Pizza is very simple to make
You just take dough and then you put on tomato sauce
Then you put on cheese, then you put on whatever toppings you like

Everytime you make it, it will be different
But I assure you
It will always be delicious

I say...

This pizza is awesome and mostly delicious
And if it's not delicious
I promise you we can make another pizza

This song is about peace
It's an allegory for pizza
Yes, I know...
Track Name: ¡El Diablo Picante!
Hola, cómo te llamas?
Me llama Asher Zetler

En cacen de milles
Bonjourno!

Es my birtestia

Es cuales la date
Yo tengo elephantante ahora
Hasta luego

Español de la clase de Español
Español de la clase de Español
Español de la clase de Español
Español de la clase de Español

It never ends
It never ends
It never ends
It never ends
Track Name: Divided In Two
Silver flower, metal one
They both sound so delicious
Buzz Lightyear has scratched the delirium
Jessi Bean Simmons is not fought by my song
This song is dedicated to Ken and Ken

Perfect, that's perfect

We are all lies
That this is not over
But it soon will be
Track Name: Hanukkah Nation
Hello Hanukkah, what chu knowing?
I come to watch your candles glowing
I love Hanukkah, yes I do
Do, do, do, do, I love Hanukkah

The Israelis were living in Israel
Then these Greeks were like "hey, leave my country."
Then the Israels were like, "****"!
Oh, I can't swear

But wait, this story is not over
After the war, there was only enough oil for one day in their eternal light
And so, they sent a runner as fast as they could
To get more oil for their candles
But when he got back, the candle was still glowing
It was a Hanukkah miracle for everyone

And so, now, we eat latkes
Which are fried in oil
To signify this song

Good night
Thank you
You've been a wonderful audience
Track Name: Word Pack
Yo, I have big muscles
If you look at me, you'll get all crustled
Oh look, there's Optimus Prime
Ain't no telling when I'm down for a crime
There's a dandelion over there
Ain't no telling where I will beware
Oh look, there's Cher
Mario is a tank like the wolf
Wolf is a bad badger animal
Don't you mind me, I'm just a tank
Ain't not nothing but a prank
And a boom!

Yo
This guy benches with ten fourty-five pound plates
So strong, he rocks the whole United States
But hey, this isn't America, this is Canada
So what are you going to do, you gonna sue?
'Cause that's all you can do
Come at me, bro
I got Asher with me, so
So good luck, 'cause he doesn't give a ****
He'll beat the ****
'Till you're toothless
'Cause he's ruthless
He's Asher Zetler

Yo, this is my mix
I go downtown for my fix
The meal was easy to digest
In the night, it's Oktoberfest!
I have bitties on the rag
My music is like my mother******* tag

I'm singing the chorus on my rap song, yeah
This is going really well, I feel like I'm a huge international rap star, woo
I'm really good at singing and rapping
And if you don't agree with me
Then, I don't care

This guy can really rap
He'll make you tap
Put you on the map
And make you slap your ho
Keyboard solo

This is the new chorus
I hated the old
I didn't really know what it was in the first place
Don't worry, 'cause I'm back with the new
This song is almost over, ain't you glad
No, just kidding you're really sad
I'm out
Track Name: Ambulancetopia
There once was an ambulance named Jimbo
And he was almost as good as Xin Bo
With his hair and his hat
He don't cure any of that
And yesterday, he ran over my cats

When the lights are flashing, you'd better get out of his way
And the citizens of Canada don't even have to pay
He once saved a life
And he has a firefighter for his wife
You'd better not mess with him
Especially if your name is Tim

This verse has nothing to do with the song
But like Frodo's journey to Mordor, it is long
Gandalf is a tank with a beard
With his magic, he should be feared
I'm not going to talk about the others in the Fellowship
Because I am tired of singing with my lips
Track Name: The Cinematic Adaptation of Asher Zetler's Historic Life
I was originally going to play piano for this song
But my manager
He said I was too good and artistic
So he did it instead

But I don't want to be known for too many things
Singing and piano is too much
I'd rather be a pretty face
Then have multiple multi-talents

Skeleton
Sorry, that meant nothing
Or did it?
That's for you to decide in the comments section

They're watching you
On their satellite TVs
But...
Track Name: Palestinian Nightclub
Hummus, hummus, hummus, falafel
Hummus, hummus, hummus, shawarma
Hummus, hummus, hummus, tabbouleh
They are all delicious
Pita

I went to a nightclub in Israel
There were a bunch of Arabs dancing a lot
Then it turned into a family evening
Then I left
True story

Party, party, party

Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, everybody dance

Why aren't you dancing yet?
You must be lazy

There was a boy named Ralph
He danced a lot
He put his hands in the air and then he boogied
Be like Daniel
Oh wait, Ralph

Twirl, twirl, twirl, twirl

Party, party

Asher Zetler's the greatest

What other things can I say?

Party, people

People all party

No, there is never enough with the dancing
Wow, this is so much fun

And make it rain
And make it rain
And make it rain
Track Name: Promenade The Mitchell
Now, bow to your partner
Move forwards
Move backwards
Swing your partner
Now, dosido your own
Do the...

Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Take 'er down, take 'er down
Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell

F-150®, Dodge Dakota®, Western Star International®
Kenworth®, Peterbilt®, Brakeliner®
From the East to the West
These rolling rigs of thunder
Lead the way to save the day

Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Take 'er down, take 'er down
Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell

So now, you dosido your own
Move forwards
Move forwards
Back up two times
Swing your arms
Do it some more

Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Take 'er down, take 'er down
Take 'er down and promenade the Mitchell
Track Name: Vollyball Is My Game, Jesus Is My Life
Yeah, man
This is the Corn Area
LEGO® is fun
I'm really poetic
Something, something, pencil
Couch good, nail bad
Golden Retrievers are very friendly

Let's club some seals, lights flashing, poop, repeat
Let's club some seals, lights flashing, poop, retreat

Ski boots, backhoes
Clock goes on 'till it doesn't
Backpack goes on back
You're a chump
Socks with my locks
Golden box, what's in you?
Defend her with the biggest
Mac 'n' cheese has cheese
Mother cockboat
Grab your iron woman
Facebook®?
More like your face in a book
Get some other affects

Let's club some seals, lights flashing, poop, repeat
Let's club some seals, lights flashing, poop, don't repeat

This is ridiculous
Fire burns
I'm done
Track Name: The Best Friends Forever Extreme Forever Song
I met this boy 63 years ago
In a different land
His name was Keenan
Um, I mean Jeremy
He was the maker of this game
It was called Superbaby
And it got annoying a lot
But I still played it for 9 long years

And we're the best friends forever extreme forever
And we're the best friends forever extreme forever

This next verse, I cannot
Tell you what it's about
It's something dear to our hearts
But oh, how we hate his movies
Actually, neither of us have seen any
So I don't have much to say

And we're the best friends forever extreme forever
And we're the best friends forever extreme forever

This one is about just a car
Special, it was not
But one day, we started to like it
And that was that

And we're the best friends forever extreme forever
And we're the best friends forever extreme forever